Mixed Emotions

What a great day that ended on a sad note. It started off only having rehab to look forward too, but at 4:45pm this afternoon I got a call to let me know I was actively placed on the transplant list. One of the tx coordinators called to tell me I have been officially listed. The average wait time at Duke is 21 days and I have a friend who waited only 38 days for her official call. She did have a dry run where she was called, but the lungs turned out no good so she was sent home to keep waiting. That isn't uncommon. I'm so ready for this. I was trying my best to walk around the track today with my rolling walker, O2 tank, and a headband with an O2 monitor wire stuffed in it attached to my forehead; I was thinking there has got to be a better way than this. I can do this rehab as a weak post transplant patient rather than a breathless pre-transplant patient much easier any day. I would rather have pain than no air. Of course we can stop to catch our breath, but it totally wipes me out by the end of the day. I get frustrated with myself. The people at the center are great. They are patient and kind. I will make it through the program, but it is one of the hardest things I've ever done.
On another note, tonight I found out through facebook that my Grandmother passed away. I immediately called my mother to confirm that what I was reading was correct and it was. I knew she wasn't doing well, but to hear she had passed already was a bit of a shock. She was my Dad's mom and has been in a nursing home for many years now. She is in a much better place and reunited with my Grandad. It was a great day and a sad day. I am thrilled that I am on the home stretch to getting my new lungs, but I feel like I should be at home with my family. I know that isn't possible at this point. I just have to believe that God has me in the right place at the right time. I Love my family and they know I would be there if I could. Lets just hope now my wait for the call isn't too long.