I Miss My Baby Dog

I looked at pictures of my Doberman, Diamond today and just started crying. I don't really know why because she is staying with a friend and is being taken care of. I just miss her. I havent' seen her since the beginning of May. She may not even remember me anymore when I get home. We've had her since she was 6wks old. She has never known anyone to take care of her but me and Philip. She's old now. She was 10yrs old back on Aprul 3rd. When I got sick, I felt so guilty because I wasn't able to go outside with her because of the heat. She doesn't do well inside because she wants to sit in my lap like she did when she was a puppy, lol. She does sleep in the house at night. She has "Diamond's House". Most of her life my daily ritual was to go outside with her and brush her, pet her, just love on her. She expected it and would bark this high pitched bark that would indicate to me "come outside mama". As time went on and I didn't go outside anymore she finally stopped expecting me. I was feeling like a failure to my family. Not only Diamond, but the rest of my family. I wasn't able to contribute anything, not even to our family pet. When we get home I am planning on getting her back. I think Philip was planning on giving her away permenately, but I just can't do it. I'm the only mama she's ever known and she loves me more than herself for sure. I can't abandon her. She's my baby! I'll be able to take care of her again and we can even start an exercise ritual now that I can breathe! I Love My Diamond Girl and I can't wait to see her! I know this has nothing to do with how I am physically, but I just had her on my mind and needed to vent. Thanks for listening.